Knowing Your Direction: Five Helpful Ways
There’s a an anonymous quote I heard back when I was in college, and it speaks to me as loudly now as it did then. It says,
Loneliness is not the absence of joy but a lack of direction.
If we ponder on it, the old adage is saying that we feel loneliness not because there aren’t elements around us that can make us happy. In fact, everyone has the ability to look for the silver lining in every gray cloud. The rainbow after the rain.
Rather, loneliness is created by the feeling of not knowing where to go, what to do, and whom to be with. If you are wandering around, aimlessly going from place to place, pretty soon you will grow weary and desperate. Then the loneliness kicks in.
Luckily, there are a few ways that we can count on to combat that kind of feeling or phenomenon.
Start With Short Term Goals
It’s easy to be overwhelmed about thinking which path should you take in life. One wrong turn and you can be derailed forever.
But what if you just start by planning for the short term? Write goals that you think you want to accomplish in the next three to six months. How about losing ten pounds? Or learning a new online platform? Pay off one of yoour credit card debts? Or go save up enough to treat yourself to a vacation of your choice.
Taking things a few steps or leaps at a time will make the journey all the mroe enjoyable and less tense. Then when you are comfortable with setting goals, you can start transitioning to mid-term and long-term life goals to usher you into every season of your life.
Flock With Birds of the Same Feather
That’s another saying that I will never forget, and this time it’s taught to me by my mom. She always reminds me to choose my friends wisely because “birds of the same feather flock together.”
After she gave me that lecture, I craned my neck outside our window to see our neighbor’s pigeons. Yep — not one crow, mynah, or sparrow in sight; all pigeons.
So if you should choose your friends carefully, it just makes perfect sense to also choose your influences wisely as well. You’d want to associate yourself with like-minded people who are also traversing the same path as you or have already reached success in that same field.
Love writing, producing and filmmaking? Then go ahead and hang out with people who create content or produce for the industry. Into law? Then seek the counsel of established lawyers together with fellow burgeoning students. In need of something to spark your faith? Attend a small group at a local church to help you get back on track.
Whatever your focus may be, be sure to have the right influences surrounding you.
Try the Opposite Direction
My personal experience in choosing my career did not start with thinking aboout what I liked or loved doing. It was the other way around.
I thought about the things that I didn’t want to do.
Sounds crazy? Then why don’t you consider this thought: by removing the things you hate doing outright, you are actually winnowing down your options. Then you can select the best one that sparks joy for you or inspires you to get up and get going.
For me, these were the things I hated: numbers, being in the limelight, and the sight of blood. With these qualifiers alone, I automatically removed Engineering and Math-related professions, film, music and the performing arts, and being a doctor of any sorts.
By doing this, I was down to just a few options that I had and felt a personal connection with. Public speaking, teaching, and writing. After careful deliberation, the last one won, hence this article.
But before I arrived at the process of selection, I had to apply first the process of elimination. And it was very helpful indeed for me.
Find Your Peace, Your Self, or Your Center
There are several ways to do this actually. Every faith and belief system teaches a certain meditation, reflection, or quiet time which allows one to refoucs on things, remove the distractions that might be burdening, and thereby having a fresher perspective after emerging from the process.
One anonymous astronomer said that by simply looking at the stars, he was indeed rejuvinated. He could feel all the stress of life melt as he looks at the heavenly bodies. Then after some contemplation, a new, fresh idea, option or solution is birthed in his consciousness. And this allows him to walk a new path and pursue it.
It’s quite difficult to know where you’re going if you are thinking about so many things. But once you take a look at the dark sky at night, you will be reminded of the universe, and you will be humbled by how miniscule you are compared to the vastness of the universe.
Take the Leap of Faith
When our life comes to an end, we are haunted by two things: those that we did and those that we didn’t.
If you are the type of person that doesn’t want to regret the things that he or she didn’t do, then I suggest you take a deep breathe, back up a little bit, then surge forward and take that leap towards the next chapter of your life.
You may be stuck in a rut, and this is what’s causing the loneliness and axnxiety in you. The world is too big for you to just ignore. Go out there and take everything in. Create more experiences. Reach out to more people. And savor every moment.
That way, you get to decide which path to take after witnessing so many things and planning out the outcome.
